Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Posted at 7:33 AM 2 comments (+)
I love early mornings when it feels like the rest of the world is still fast asleep and you're the only one who's awake and everything feels like it isn't really real and you kind of forget about all your problems because for now it's just you, the world and the sunrise.

Labels:

Sunday, December 30, 2012
The Breakup Haircut Theory: Girls Cut Their Hair After a Heartbreak? Posted at 2:34 PM 1 comments (+)

Why do girls cut their hair after a break-up?

 My friend once told me that when a girl gets a haircut, especially if it’s unexpected and it’s not just a trim, something happened. So that’s why while everyone else is saying, “Nice haircut!” “Wow, you cut your hair!” and the like, he would say, “What happened?” or “Who’s the guy?”

 There is some truth to that; my other girl friends and I agreed. Hahaha. It’s the move on or break-up haircut that gives us the superficial sense of feeling better and pretty despite whatever happened (i.e. a break up). It gives us a feeling of a fresh look, a fresh start.
I know a real story. It starts out like this.

And ends up like this.





One More Chance (Basha) inspired hairstyle. For a change and new look. 

This is the shortest I’ve gone. And yes, it does give me a superficial sense of fresh start and confidence.

I have a number of friends who are like this, too.

To further attempt to prove a point, even Basha (Bea Alonzo) got a haircut after a break up with Popoy (John Lloyd Cruz) in the ultimate break-up movie One More Chance! (Fan girl alert) Hahaha. Do you know of other movies that show this act of breakup haircut?

Labels:

Monday, December 17, 2012
You hurt me so much, my heart literally went numb. Posted at 11:00 AM 1 comments (+)
You made me reach the point I couldn’t feel anything anymore. My heart just got exhausted and blew out. In that moment, I went cold. There was an icebox where my heart used to be. Pain froze up inside of me. I couldn’t think straight. Then that pain eventually turned into anger. And I just stopped caring about anything. I just shut out everybody and every damn thing in the world. That’s how you made me feel. That’s how bad it hurts.

Labels: ,

Sunday, December 9, 2012
Posted at 5:05 PM 0 comments (+)

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy. I’m going to laugh so you don’t see me cry. And even if it kills, I’m going to smile.

Labels:

Monday, December 3, 2012
I am just trying to find myself. Posted at 11:19 PM 2 comments (+)

I remember feeling lost. Constantly feeling lost. I would be lying, if I told you I didn’t feel that way every now and again. Its the worst feeling you could possibly feel.

Lonely, drained, worthless, useless, dark, cold-hearted, LOST! Its as if, someone kidnapped you. Stuck you in the middle of woods at night. Without a flashlight. Without a map. Without any knowledge of where you are. No hints. Nothing! And just told you to find your way back.

Its not easy. Not one bit. And I’m still trying to find my way back. Its been 6 years. But every now and then my mind decides to rest in a peaceful place and sometimes it could stay there for hours, days, weeks, sometimes even months. But eventually it has to start searching again.

I don’t know what for! I don’t know why it cant stay where its at. But its searching for something maybe, answers. I don’t know. But I know its ready to be free of these thoughts and the faster it can find my way back home, the faster it can ease itself.

I’m ready to be eased of pain, anger, hate, revenge. This cold dark place my mind sends me. I’m not that kind of person. And I hate that it makes me feel this way.

I swear I’m not crazy!

Labels:

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Dear me. Posted at 9:09 AM 0 comments (+)
Sorry ha kung hanggang ngayon hindi ka pa din maka get over sa kanya. Alam ko naman na hindi mo ginusto yan eh. Nagmahal ka lang naman eh, at hindi mo expected na masasaktan ka. Pero hayaan mo darating din yung time na makakalimutan mo din yung taong nanakit sayo. Darating din yung time na makakakita ka ng right guy for you, yung mamahalin ka, tatanggapin ka kung ano ka at hindi ka na ulit sasaktan. Alam ko naman na hindi ganon kadali pero darating din yung right time na yun. Basta wait ka lang. Siguro hindi pa sya yung guy na laan para sayo ni Papa God, siguro pahiram lang sya sayo para matuto ka na hindi lahat ng bagay sa mundo ay magtatagal habangbuhay. 

Sa ngayon pwede ba bigyan mo naman ng time yung sarili mo? Pwede bang mag focus ka muna sa sarili mo. Mag-ayos ka. Ayusin mo yung sarili mo. Pwede din ba wag ka ng umiyak kung sya naman din yung dahilan? Kasi nonsense lang din naman eh. Umiiyak ka pero yung taong iniiyakan mo hindi ka naman iniiyakan. Masakit isipin pero wala na talaga wag ka ng umasa. Kasi the more umaasa ka mas lalo mong sinasaktan sarili mo. Hindi naman kasi pag mahal mo lahat bigay, lahat paniniwalaan mo. Kasi kadalasan sa mga lalaki ganyan. Papakitaan ka ng maganda tapos sa huli iiwan ka din. Sana sa nangyari naman sayo madala ka na. Sana naman sa ngayon mas mahalin at pahalagahan mo yung sarili mo. 

Ito pa, pwede ba kalimutan mo na sya. Hindi sya worth it para sayo. Sinaktan ka nya at pinaasa. So para saan pa para maghintay ka? Malay mo sa kakaganyan mo may dumarating na pinalampas mo kasi sya pa din yung hinihintay mo. Wag mo naman sayangin yung oras mo kakahintay sa walang kwentang tao. Maraming nagmamahal sayo pero hindi mo pinapansin dahil lang sa kanya. Alam ko kaya mo yan. Basta magpakatatag ka lang. Wag na wag kang susuko sa laban. Balang araw makaka move on ka na. At balang araw pag nagkita kayo deadma na lang sya sayo. No hard feeling!!! Wag mo ng ipagsiksikan yung sarili mo kasi ikaw lang nagmumukhang tanga. Tantanan mo na din sya. Move on okay? 

Alam ko hindi ganon kadali pero magagawa mo yan kung gugustuhin mo. Wag mong pahirapan sarili mo. Just enjoy your life. Bata ka pa para magmadali sa love. Darating din yan. Basta hintayin mo lang yung time na handa ka na din magmahal. Normal lang naman masaktan kasi nagmahal ka. Pero sa susunod na magmahal ka ulit ng iba dapat alam mo na kung ano yung halaga mo. Wag ka na ulit papayag na saktan at lokohin pa. Pakatatag ka ha? Kaya mo yan. Malaki tiwala ko sayo na malalagpasan mo din lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman mo ngayon, be positive, okay? 

Love, 
myself.

Labels:

Sunday, November 18, 2012
Take me away. Somewhere far away. Posted at 10:27 AM 2 comments (+)
I want to go somewhere far away, where no one knows my name, and where I can relax. I just want to get away from everyone and breathe. So much stress has consumed me that I don’t even know how to clear my head and just breathe. I need to get away.

"Blue skies and open air
There's a place for us away
Take me away somewhere far away
Beyond the sun
Take me away somewhere far away..."

 That's how I exactly what I feel right now. Just want to go away somewhere. It just feels like travelling to a different place. Discover new cultures and meet new people and just be a free bird! 

 I wanna go somewhere, somewhere far away. So far away, it's not on the map. I want the wind to blow through my hair, and only my hair. I want to see hundreds of miles away, and not see any bump in my path. I want to be able to relax, not worry about one thing. I want to be somewhere far away, With you.

Labels:

Thursday, November 15, 2012
I am not the happy person I used to be. Posted at 10:07 PM 0 comments (+)
Where do you run to escape from yourself? 

I am feeling very down and depressed tonight. I have so much on my mind and I feel like a funnel cloud swirling around in a circle. I don't even know where to begin. I can't stop crying tonight. I am trying not to let it get to me but I can't stop thinking about it. Trying to think positive but negative keeps getting in the way. I just want to run away. If anyone know what hell I am going through right now you would understand. 

I am down - not feeling good, depressed. Ever get tired of just feeling lonely all the time? Yeah, me too. But I get used to it after a while. I must be alive 'cause I still feel pain. I get used to the pain.

Cause you really hurt me and I don't need to say it cause you know. I'm sorry for always being the problem. 
I just can't do this anymore. Holding all the pain, tears, and anger in.. I can't breathe and I need to escape.

Why is it so hard to be happy?

Labels:

Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I feel infinite. Posted at 9:31 AM 3 comments (+)
I don't think I love very many things but here are the ones I can think of:

I love the first sip of coffee in the morning. I love reading someone else's words and finding a connection in them. I love the feeling a good song invokes. I love wondering. I love driving at night with no destination. I love the gentle kind of sadness like a reminder that I can feel. 

Labels:

Thursday, October 25, 2012
The girl who hides behind a smile everyday. Posted at 11:16 PM 1 comments (+)
"Use your smile to change this world. Don’t let this world change your smile."


“If he still sees the beauty in you and still falls more in love with you after seeing  your weird facial expressions, your unusual laugh, your constant complaining,  your ugly days, your pig out days, the way you toss and turn in your sleep, your  stupid jokes, the way you ask questions about the thing you should already know  the answers to but he answers them anyway, your obsession with strange things, your random sounds, and your immaturity. Then you already know that this is the man.”



A strong girl keeps her shit in line, and with tears running down her face, she still manages to whisper the simple words “I’m Fine.”

Labels:

Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Purplish Red. Posted at 2:12 PM 0 comments (+)
Dyed my hair last night. The color is purplish red, combination of purple and red. I love the result. Yeyuhh. Red is hot, haha.




Labels:

Monday, September 24, 2012
I won't stoop down to your level. Posted at 4:19 PM 0 comments (+)
Hate me all you want. Spread lies. Continue convincing yourself that you haven't done anything wrong. Continue planting lies on other people's head because you want their sympathy. Continue doing that malicious evil deeds of yours. Continue being the pathetic person that you strive to be. 

I wouldn't care anymore. And no I won't stoop down to your level. I would stand up, dust the dirt away, lift my head up and go the other direction. 

I'll continue to shrug my shoulders and walk away from all the lies you spread and all the harsh words you uttered. I'll continue to ignore you as if you're just a speck of annoying dust. I'll continue doing things that I know you can't and will not be able to do. I'll continue going to places that you can never see nor reach (or atleast make sure i'll get there first) I'll continue to love which I know you are never capable of because of all the hatred in your heart. 


Today, I'm turning my back away from all that is selfish, unjust and loathful which you so represents, because from now on i'll always walk in love.

And I am forgiving you.. For hurting me, for spreading lies about me, for destroying my dreams.

No I won't take revenge. There's higher power who can do that for me. And when that higher power finally decided to give you that "whip" of bad karma you'll remember me. Oh yes, you'll remember me. 

Labels:

Friday, August 17, 2012
No one will ever know, the pain I feel inside. Posted at 7:54 PM 0 comments (+)
"You see her smiling during the day but you have no idea how much she cried all night".


He makes me smile during the day but makes me cry myself to sleep most nights.

Labels:

Friday, June 29, 2012
Passion for writing. Posted at 8:32 PM 0 comments (+)
I felt like expressing myself. I still have a passion for writing. I just couldn't stop typing.

Im a simple yet complicated pinay girl. I speak my mind which sometimes gets me in a shit load of trouble. Weird and moody. I have a major problem with my mood swings. Im laughing one minute then the next im a bitchhh. Im dramatic. But im only like that on my mental days. Im a superrrr kid at heart. Love my friends they're the greatest and so are certain members of the family. And of course the one and only boyfriend. Loyal and trustworthy no doubt. But if i hate you then i hate you i have my reasons to hate certain people. I wont hate them just because they're ugly. My greatest sin is envy. Dont ask me why cause i dont even know myself. I love having fun. Malls. Parties. Movies. Sitting around doing nothing. Eating a bunch of food. Whateverr as long as im with the people i love im good. I like the numbers 07 and 22. The color purple is my main fave color but pink, black and red is on the list also. I love hott, cute, sexy underwear. Boxers interest me cause of the patterns and such.

I drink. I party. I curse. I talk back. I bitch. Im mean. I sin. I hate. I freak dance. I mess up, badly. Some people havnt seen that side of me cause i dont like to show it. But i do have that side. Im not all nice. But im not all bad. You'll never see me super drunk and throwing up all over the place. If ever you see me drunk im just red and laughing my ass off and trying to keep my balance. I do have my limits and i try not to pass them. You wont see me cheating on my boyfriend. EVER. Im not like that. You wont ever see me do drugs just for the heck of it. No let me rephrase that, you wont ever see me do drugs PERIOD.

If you come up to me to ask me about a rumor you heard about me i will have major respect for you. You have guts and i never like to ignore the good traits of a person. I do respect people. I have major respect for my mother because of the things shes gone through and is still going through. I respect and fear God. But i have to admit that i sometimes feel like i've lost him. But i knows he's there. There is a higher power. I respect and look up to people who are talented and who are filled with knowledge. When you're talking to me look at me striaght in the eye. Dont ask me why. Just do it.

I hate people who give me the weirdest looks. I mean damn bitch. Stop staring. I hate being stared at. But i feel the need of attention from certain people. I hate super fake people. I mean who doesnt? I admit that i can be fake. But to a limit. I usually tell the people what really annoys me about them. I cant keep quiet when i hate someone. I hate way to perfect people. No not jealous. I hate the fact that they try so hard to be perfect but then COMPLAIN?! I mean to hell with you! They're blessed but they still complain. I hate it when those kind of people try to get something that means so much to you. Or gets the attention of someone close to your heart. Because like i said they're close to perfect but they still try to get something from you that keeps you happy. I can't explain it. But im sure you get the point.

And this isnt even the end of it. Theres more but i would like to keep it to myself.

Labels:

Monday, June 18, 2012
Outift of the day. Posted at 8:27 PM 0 comments (+)
Just a simple outfit I threw together today. These are the days when I just want to keep things comfortable for me, wearing just a simple outfit for an ordinary day spent outdoors.



“Only great minds can afford a simple style.”

Labels:

Monday, June 4, 2012
Feelings. Posted at 10:54 AM 0 comments (+)
I surprisingly have a lot of feelings, I’m just used to bottling them up or stifling them and generally not really allowing them to escape. Was I always this way? No. There are many different experiences that have slowly caused to me to be more cautious and hesitant with my feelings.

As of late, through the help of talking to someone about all these things, I’m getting a little better at “feeling.”

The problem is part of me feels guilty for starting to feel happy and more positive. I struggled for so long doing all the wrong things and allowing the wrong kind of people into my life that now it may seem strange that i’m suddenly becoming a better version of myself.

Changes don’t happen overnight and I know that, i’ve slowly seen myself start to change over the last few months. That doesn’t mean I don’t remember what I felt like to be hurt, alone, and unable to express my feelings. I just need to learn how to feel these things while not losing sight of where i’ve come from. and I know that everyone is fighting their own battle, even ones you may not understand or realize. I can attest to that. 

Labels:

Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Posted at 11:22 PM 0 comments (+)
"Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want, and to do what makes you happy." 





Labels:

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Beauty is a fragile gift. Posted at 9:00 AM 0 comments (+)
Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she's beautiful but don't have anything to talk about, it's going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person. ♡


Labels:

Sunday, May 6, 2012
Posted at 12:33 PM 0 comments (+)
I am awake! I fell asleep too early last night, and missed dinner. It is wonderful to have no set time when you must sleep, eat or whatever. When I am sleepy I go to sleep. I allow the flow of my life to revolve around the natural way that I am. Without effort. This has not always been this way. But it is now. I have no one to please but myself. And that is a joy to have. ❥



❤

Labels:

Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Posted at 6:06 PM 0 comments (+)

"The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone."

Labels:

All rights reserved PETITE-FILLEPERDUE
HOME | OLDER ENTRIES ▶


About
Underconstruction. Moved to wordpress.
Credits
Layout by mymostloved with script, background and image.